The Milly Maker Chase begins……..
I truly believe this year I will win the DraftKings Milly Maker!! No really. I believe it with all my heart. I wake up and think, “Milly Maker.” In church, I’m thinking, “Milly Maker.” At the grocery, I’m thinking, “Milly Maker.” While responding to your Tweets, I’m thinking, “Milly Maker.” During sex, I’m thinking “lucky me.” After sex, I’m thinking, “Milly Maker.” Why the obsession you ask. I’m a perfectly content football loving man who has a walkout basement with a 70 inch TV, several computers and screens, access to beer and food, and the family gerbils “Cappuccino” and “Little Sparkles” keeping me company, definitely not biting me anymore. What can I say, I’m living the dream.
But alas, I married a lovely lady and together we made two more lovely ladies, which of course all sounds lovely, and it totally is, but at the same time, apparently, it could be totally a whole lot more lovely, as my youngest loverly lady said, “if we were like millionaires.” Apparently they have been watching rich YouTube families live it up and now I need to fork it over or cough it up so we can ALL be happy again.
Here is their growing list of demands:
- Much much bigger house!!
- “She-Shed” for my youngest, w/a kids motorcycle (to drive from the house to the “She-Shed”)
- A huge yard that I can spend all Saturday mowing
- No neighbors so my wife can be not garden
- Horse and stable for my oldest daughter (probably hire a stable boy)
- A pool (probably hire a pool boy)
- A vacation to the OBX
- A treehouse (probably hire a treehouse boy)
- Full playground set w/swings
- 24-hour challenges, like building gigantic lego houses to live in (probably have to hire a lego boy)
- New SUV
- A vineyard w/a view
Given the hopes and dreams of ladies, I have to believe that I will win the Milly Maker this year…or else tell them that they can’t have any of the things that they think will make them happy. I’m not stupid. That’s why I chase the Milly Maker.
QB – Kyler Murray balled out against the 49ers as a rookie, scoring 23 and 26.7 points respectively. His ability to move the pocket creates opportunities for big plays and stacking him with his newest weapon, DeAndre Hopkins is a must if you are seeking big play upside in a high volume offense.
RB – Dalvin Cook only played in one game against the Green Bay Packers in 2019, but he did score 25 points. The Packers lost Blake “Tackling Machine” Martinez to the NY Giants, so Dalvin gonna cook!
RB – Austin Ekeler is a high volume upside play who also happens to be an outstanding football player in real life who scored 33.4 and 24.2 points last season when he was the RB1 on the Chargers. I love his week 1 match-up against a bottom tier Bengals defense.
WR – DeAndre Hopkins just inked a new $54.5 million contract extension averaging $27.25 million per year. $42.75 million of Hopkins’ contract is fully guaranteed, which includes a $27.5 million signing bonus. HE WILL BE GETTING TARGETS!!
WR – Terry McLaurin is the WR1 on a team that is projecting to be trailing and who will need to air it out all day to keep up with Carson Wentz and the Eagles. I like this game to be a high scoring affair and I wouldn’t be surprised he scores a TD or 2.
WR – Henry Ruggs III is fast. Henry Ruggs III has huge hands. Henry Ruggs III is a first round pick. Henry Ruggs III is going to win me the Milly Maker.
TE – Hayden Hurst is going to be a high volume play with TD upside this week as Matty Ice slings it all over the field. His $4,300 price tag will he his cheapest all season. Smash that value.
FLEX – Scotty Miller has the potential to bust this slate wide open as sneaky back door into an offense that has a less than mobile Tom Brady and a subpar O-line. I think has 8-10 targets and scores a TD.
DEF – Joe Burrow is going to be good. Just not yet. I like the Chargers to pick 6 him into the NFL this afternoon. Welcome to the show Joe!!
A boy chasing a football in the backyard with his dad. A teenager chasing the ball on the high school gridiron. A 20 something chasing a football at the Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl. A 30 something chasing fantasy football championships. A 40 something chasing the dream of becoming a fantasy football analyst chasing the DFS Milly Maker.
Subscribe to My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.