Clash of the Beards & Bellies

Paging Jeff Fisher

I have unwillingly made this series very interesting. No more jokes. It’s incredibly irritating to have one single lineup completely bomb among 13 that were good enough to cash. That one lineup, for two weeks running, has been my Clash build.

It’s like that one episode of Family Guy, where Stewie cloned himself. He purposefully made his clone “Bitch Stewie” less intelligent so he would willingly do all his chores for him without question. Bitch Stewie eventually fell apart into a pile of goop because he was so unstable (and pooped in the bathtub). My Clash lineups have been precisely Bitch Stewie lately.

Week 18 is sure to be a whole hell of a lot of random craziness, but somehow Scott was looking over my shoulder to steal my homework. When we originally shared our Clash lineups (without any collaboration whatsoever), we had five matches. Guess I’ll have to sweep my house for hidden cameras (again). I really don’t want to be tied at nine wins apiece heading into the playoffs, so we’re breaking out the desperation lineup.

Bo’s Lineup

QB – Tyler Huntley – Baltimore Ravens – $5,700

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – JANUARY 02: Quarterback Tyler Huntley #2 of the Baltimore Ravens passes the ball against the Los Angeles Rams at M&T Bank Stadium on January 02, 2022 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

The growth we have seen from Huntley in just a month of starting in place of Lamar Jackson has been staggering. Coming out of Utah, he was the epitome of a project. Now, he’s firmly in place as a clean step down from Lamar in this offense, instead of a cliff. The Steelers aren’t as good on defense as the Browns made them look on Monday. Huntley will have a great fantasy game.

RB – Alvin Kamara – New Orleans Saints – $8,300

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – JANUARY 02: Alvin Kamara #41 of the New Orleans Saints breaks a tackle in the fourth quarter of the game against the Carolina Panthers at Caesars Superdome on January 02, 2022 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Scott is getting the double-barrel stud running back approach this week. The Saints get the Falcons this week in a win-and-in scenario. I believe the tandem of Kamara with Taysom Hill will obliterate this non-existent front-seven for Atlanta. Kamara is the top running back on my board in PPR ceiling.

RB – Jonathan Talyor – Indianapolis Colts – $9,300

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA – JANUARY 02: Jonathan Taylor #28 of the Indianapolis Colts runs the ball and is tackled by Trevon Moehrig #25 of the Las Vegas Raiders at Lucas Oil Stadium on January 02, 2022 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images)

JT wrapped up his rookie season last year with a 253-yard destruction of the Jaguars. He is 266 yards shy of 2,000 on the season and the Colts are playing the Jags again for their playoff lives. The writing is on the wall and JT has the most elegant penmanship.

WR – A.J. Brown – Tennessee Titans – $7,000

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – JANUARY 2: A.J. Brown #11 of the Tennessee Titans celebrates after catching a pass during a game against the Miami Dolphins at Nissan Stadium on January 2, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee. The Titans defeated the Dolphins 34-3. (Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

I sincerely hope we see a bit of Derrick Henry this week. Regardless, this offense runs through AJB. The Titans can clinch the all-important top seed in the AFC and accompanying first round bye with a win on Sunday. They would be crazy to not feed this monolith from Mississippi.

WR – Deonte Harris – New Orleans Saints – $3,200

Harris wasn’t a factor last week, after missing offensive installation practice with COVID. The short passing game will belong to him and Kamara on Sunday. Harris’ speed and elusiveness is endearing to Sean Payton. He should easily exceed 3x value on Sunday.

WR – Ray-Ray McCloud lll – Miami Dolphins – $3,800

I don’t love many wide receivers under $4k this week, but I do love the bonanza of low-quality targets that McCloud is getting. This is a low-ceiling play unless McCloud somehow breaks one or scores, but for PPR it’s okay I guess.

TE – Mark Andrews – Baltimore Ravens – $7,500

BALTIMORE, MD – JANUARY 02: Baltimore Ravens tight end Mark Andrews (89) makes a reception against Los Angeles Rams defensive back David Long Jr. (22) during the Los Angeles Rams game versus the Baltimore Ravens on January 2, 2022 at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, MD. (Photo by Mark Goldman/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

I decided early on that I was going to try and beat Scott with Stars and Scrubs. Who’s a bigger star on this slate than Mark freaking Andrews? With Huntley at quarterback, Andrews is commanding a workload that has vaulted him into the Travis Kelce tier. With the way he is rolling, I wouldn’t trust any other tight end on this slate to get me where I want to go.

FLEX – Jonnu Smith – New England Patriots – $2,500

Would you believe that Jonnu is on the field more than Hunter Henry? Looking at the receiving stats, you would never guess it. Smith is still a supremely gifted athlete (and a well-compensated one). His curse is his elite blocking skill, where Henry cannot provide as much for the Patriots to win games. I might have been dead wrong about Jonnu’s usage for season long fantasy, but I have a hunch he will score this week, now that the fantasy season is over.

DST – Cleveland Browns – $2,600

Let me take you back to Week 9. The Bengals were hosting the Browns, and the Cleveland defense held the jungle tigers to 16 points. They sacked Joe Burrow five times, intercepted him twice, and recovered a fumble. They even scored a DST touchdown, giving them a very nice 18 fantasy points on the day. Cincinnati is starting Brandon Allen and Samaje Perine this week in a meaningless game for them. I think the Dogs will be barking here at a great value.

Call It a Comeback!!!

We have finally reached the last week of the regular season and agaisnt all mathematical odds, I am only one win behind Bo in our season long DraftKings H2H contest. Bo has nine wins and I have eight wins. It’s officially a comeback, as Bo has been stuck on nine wins since the Biden administration took over. I’ve inched my way back after being down three losses twice this year and with only a few weeks left to decided the official winner of the Clash of the Beards and Bellies, its anyones’ game!! Clutch your pearls Bo, this drama is a coming down to the wire. May the best man win!!

Scott’s Lineup

QB – Tyler Huntley – Baltimore Ravens – $5,700

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – JANUARY 02: Quarterback Tyler Huntley #2 of the Baltimore Ravens rushes past free safety Taylor Rapp #24 of the Los Angeles Rams at M&T Bank Stadium on January 02, 2022 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Tyler Huntley mans the helm this week for the Baltimore Ravens against their hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Technically both teams have a microscopic chance of making the NFL post-season, but more than likely this game is just for pride and fun. Huntley played well last week but just wasn’t able to punch the ball into the end-zone against a stout LA Rams defense. The Steelers are not the Rams and Huntley and the Ravens should be able to score touchdowns this week instead of future HOF Justin Tucker field goals. I’m stacking Huntley with Andrews and/or Rashod Batemen.

RB – Devin Singletary – Buffalo Bills – $6,000

ORCHARD PARK, NY – JANUARY 02: Devin Singletary #26 of the Buffalo Bills runs the ball against the Atlanta Falcons at Highmark Stadium on January 2, 2022 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Timothy T Ludwig/Getty Images)

Devin Singletary is $6,000 and the New York Jets are dead last in the NFL in fantasy points allowed to running backs. This year they have allowed over 2,700 combined rushing and receiving yards and 26 total touchdowns. Devin Singletary rushed 23 times for over 100 yards last week. Another good sign this week that there should be plenty of volume for him in a game that the Bills are favored to win by 16.5 points. Bo’s hatred for Singletary makes this play all the more ironic.

RB – Jonathan Taylor – Indianapolis Colts – $9,300

Jonathan Taylor needs 266 yards to reach 2,000 rushing yards and he might actually get it this weekend against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Whose fans, btw are planning on dressing up as clowns this week to mock their owner Shahid Khan. I know Taylor is expensive, but he did score 27 points in Week 10 the last time he play the Jags. I knew Bo would have him as well and I could not miss out in case he goes nuclear on Sunday.

WR – Mike Evans – Tampa Bay Buccaneers – $7,100

EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY – JANUARY 02: Mike Evans #13 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is tackled on a carry by Bryce Hall #37 of the New York Jets during the second half of the game at MetLife Stadium on January 02, 2022 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Mike Evans is my lotto ticket against Bo this week. With all of Tom Brady’s wide receivers either hurt or quitting in the middle of games, Evans finds himself the last man standing in the Buccaneers wide receiving corps. Evans also will not be facing cornerback Stephon Gilmore this week because he is on the NFL’s COVID-19 list. Advantage Tom Brady and Evans. And also, huge advantage for me over Bo. Here’s to Evans grabbing two touchdowns to end the season strong and cement my win over Bo.

WR –  D.J. Moore – Carolina Panthers – $5,800

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK – DECEMBER 19: D.J. Moore #2 of the Carolina Panthers carries the ball after a catch over Taron Johnson #24 of the Buffalo Bills in the fourth quarter of the game at Highmark Stadium on December 19, 2021 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

D.J. Moore is sixth amongst wide receivers with 153 targets this season. All targets are not created equally though, as Sam Darnold, P.J. Walker, and Cam Newton have taught us. Still, 10 targets a game in a game environment that will force the Panthers to throw the ball, Moore is a great value at only $5,800. Bo thinks that he’s fools gold this week, can’t wait to see who is right.

WR – Deonte Harris – New Orleans Saints – $3,200

Deonte Harris returned from his suspension last week and caught both of his targets for 23 yards. A good sign given his time away from the offense. This week Harris and the Saints face the 27th ranked Atlanta Falcons secondary who have given up 2,555 yards receiving to wide receivers and 19 total touchdowns. Harris has a perfect price to pay off big with just a few touches. I was gutted to see that Bo had him rostered as well.

TE – Mark Andrews – Baltimore Ravens – $7,500

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – JANUARY 02: Mark Andrews #89 of the Baltimore Ravens carries the ball as Jordan Fuller #4 of the Los Angeles Rams defends in the third quarter of the game at M&T Bank Stadium on January 02, 2022 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Andrews is the new TE1 in fantasy football. With four games of 29.5, 31, 38, and 44 points this season, Andrews has the explosive upside to win you a tournament and the value to help you crush your Cash game opponent. I want all the Mark Andrews this week and will be stacking him with Huntley in most of my builds. Apparently great minds think alike because Bo is fielding the same stack against me this week in the Clash. Barf.

Flex – John Bates – Washington Football Team – $3,000

The Washington Football Team has targeted the tight end position 100 times this season, or around six times per game. With Ricky Seals-Jones missing practice all week, John Bates will be stepping into the starting tight end role for the WFT this week against the New York Giants. Bates caught a touchdown in week 16, so there is potential for double-digit points from a 3K tight end.

DST – Miami Dolphins – $2,400

The Miami Dolphins are the cheapest paydown defense that I will play this week. I am not expecting much. Just hoping that they can keep the game close and turn Mac Jones over once.

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