Blood and Entrails
Most of us have been through at least one good haunted house in our lifetime. When I was a kid growing up in a farm town, we would get permission from my great uncle (a farmer) to make an amazing “haunted shop.” We partitioned each room with hay bales, coated the concrete floor with sawdust, and designed actual blueprints of the layout.
Since we were rough-and-tumble kids growing from rural roots, we used actual pig’s blood for effect. My stepbrother and I were the creative ones and actually loosened the light sockets to make them flicker. My stepdad, a giant human, was in the darkest corner room with a strobe light and would fire up his chainsaw as each group passed through.
High school kids would volunteer for the “insane asylum” and “surgery room,” where we used intestines and blood from pigs or goats with a black light and had a person under a tarp screaming as if they were awake for the operation. We had an electric chair, a werewolf, and finished off with a room full of porcelain dolls that would move when a rope was pulled (we also had a CD playing with childish giggling and singing rhymes).
If this sounds like something truly scary, it pales in comparison to watching Scott put on a DFS show last week to end my winning streak. I bled out all Sunday, watching as my “safe” picks, Mahomes, Hill, and Henry were all massive disappointments. What twisted the knife, even more, was that all of my value plays were spot on. Sometimes you do everything right and it still blows up in your face.
I stuck to that mantra this week, putting together a frightful roster that will send a sinister chill up Scott’s spine. He’s going to scream when I have my own monster mash on Sunday.
QB – Teddy Bridgewater – Denver Broncos – $5,400
Even if star receiver, Jerry Jeudy is not activated for this game, the weaponry that Teddy can dish the ball to against this abysmal Washington secondary is going to be overwhelming. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Teddy will toss in a rushing touchdown.
RB – Jonathan Taylor – Indianapolis Colts – $7,200
I simply am not convinced that the Titans’ defense is any good. JT only had 11 touches in their meeting earlier in the season and is now commanding about 18 per game since. Although it seems like someone is billing Frank Reich for each touch he gives to Taylor, the young running back is a generational talent and makes big plays every single game.
RB – Joe Mixon – Cincinnati Bengals – $6,900
Why would anyone trust Joe Mixon? For starters, I only trust his ceiling and the likelihood that he finds that pinnacle against the Jets. At his salary, I’m counting on 15 carries against a terrible defense. There is also hope that he will get a few targets in the passing game, but I won’t hold my breath.
WR – Stefon Diggs – Buffalo Bills – $8,100
How quickly we forget about players coming off a bye week. The Miami defense does have an answer for Diggs. His name is Xavien Howard. Howard has amazing ball skills as a corner, similar to Stefon’s little brother Trevon. Diggs is still liable to burn Howard a few times in this game and find the end zone at least once.
WR – Courtland Sutton – Denver Broncos – $6,400
Sutton is one of my favorite GPP wide receivers for Week 8, and he will be paired with Bridgewater in a skinny stack here. Washington’s corners might as well have SmokeShack BBQ Rub sprinkled all over them because Sutton is about to smoke them for three hours.
WR – Jamal Agnew – Jacksonville Jaguars – $3,700
It makes me chuckle to look back at Agnew’s career. He has always been a gifted kick returner, special teams coverage wiz, and decent defensive back. It took Urban Meyer to make him into a “Slash,” a la Percy Harvin. Agnew has cracked double digits in both weeks in the new role, even without scoring a touchdown.
TE – CJ Uzomah – Cincinnati Bengals – $3,700
I can’t quit this guy. Uzomah is in the zone-ahhh. Joe Burrow loves the dude, connecting for five touchdowns in the last four games. The Jets also happen to be more terrible against tight ends than they are wide receivers.
FLEX – Kenny Gainwell – Philadelphia Eagles – $5,000
If this is your first time reading my work, just note that Kenny Gainwell is MINE. I had him ranked higher than anyone else in this rookie class. Now that he is the de facto starter, expect more of a 50/50 split with Boston Scott, with the much more valuable receiving work going to the best receiving back in the 2020 class. I also believe Gainwell will find the end zone twice on Sunday.
DST – Cincinnati Bengals – $3,600
I really hate to pick on the Jets…bwahahaha! Just kidding! Some guy with a name that sounds like he was computer-generated in your seventh year of dynasty on NCAA ’14, Mike White, is starting for Gang Green this week. The Bengals sport one of the most ferocious pass rushes in the NFL and will suffocate New York into a boondoggle of turnovers.
Haunt Your Dreams!!
The NFL is a Week to Week league. One second you are HOT and the next week you are a ghost. Life comes at you fast was literally invented after a middle linebacker collision that killed three people, whose ghosts still haunt the western Pennsylania pop warner field to this day, don’t quote me. All this to say, sure last weeks’ resounding victory over Bo, @Bo_McBigTime on Twitter, felt amazing, but there’s no time to celebrate. It’s Halloween Sunday which means magic and voodoo and witchcraft are all on the table for Bo. Last week’s drubbing angered him greatly, meaning he’s redoubling his efforts this week to haunt me with his spooky Cash lineup from hell.
I’m sticking with my guns and riding the guys that I have written about and will be playing myself in Cash and GPP tournaments this week. It’s going to be a tough slog fighting his evil dark powers and all, but I’m going to win this week and pull even with Bo at 4-4, haunting his DFS dreams for yet another week.
QB – Josh Allen – Buffalo Bills – $8,100
Josh Allen is the only quarterback to finish as the QB1 twice this season and leads all quarterbacks averaging 28.2 DraftKings points per game. This week, he faces one of the worst secondaries in the Miami Dolphins. They currently rank 26th against quarterbacks, 27th against running backs, and 30th against wide receivers. Josh Allen might be the most explosive play waiting to happen this Sunday. I’m all over Double stacking or onslaught stacking him with Zack Moss, Stefon Diggs, and Cole Beasley.
RB – Elijah Mitchell – San Francisco $9ers – $5,400
Elijah Mitchell is the clear RB1 in San Francisco, rushing the ball last week 18 times for 107 yards and a 5.9 yards per carry clip. The Chicago Bears defense will be without Khalil Mack for the third straight week, opening up an opportunity for Mitchell at $5,400. The 49er run the ball 44% of the time, good for the 8th most in the NFL. Combine that with an expected positive game script against the home underdogs. Cash doesn’t need to be pretty. It just needs to score points, and that’s what Mitchell will do this week against a Bears team that is in complete disarray including their Head Coach Matt Nagy being placed on the COVID-19 list. Wheels up.
RB – Zack Moss – Buffalo Bills – $5,200
Through the first six weeks (the Bills are coming off their bye week) Zack Moss has finished as the RB1 four times, to Devin Singletary’s two. This week the Bills face the Dolphins’ 27th ranked defense who give up close to 18 fantasy points per game. The Bills are HUGE 14 point home favorites. I expect a late touchdown to be the one that hurts Bo the most.
WR – A.J. Brown – Tennessee Titans – $6,900
Julio Jones is OUT. What’s new, right? Nothing. A.J. Brown is still around and is set to have his best game of the season against an Indianapolis Colts secondary that couldn’t cover your grandma, let alone one of the most physically gifted GROWN ASS MEN of this generation. I’m all in with A.J. this week. I would not be surprised if he gets two touchdowns. Bo is going to be weeping. LOL!
WR – D.J. Moore – Carolina Panthers – $7,200
D.J. Moore is tied for second in the NFL with Davante Adams with 73 targets through seven games. Sure, Sam Darnold is not Aaron Rodgers, but 10 targets per game against a Falcons defense that gives up 40 points per game to wide receivers, including nine touchdowns and 956 yards in six games. Hell, they made Corey Davis look like Julio Jones, that one year he caught touchdowns.
WR – Michael Pittman – Indianapolis Colts – $5,300
The Indianapolis Colts second-year wide receiver Michael Pittman is finally playing up to his potential, scoring over 20 points two out of his last three games. This week Pittman faces a Tennessee Titans defense that ranks dead last against the wide receiver position, giving up 48 points per game. I expect this game to be the high-scoring tilt Vegas is predicting with the 50.5 total, Pittman is incredibly cheap given the downfield target volume he should see in this matchup.
TE – Dallas Goedert – Philadelphia Eagles – $4,700
Dallas Goedert scored 12 points last week, catching three of his five targets for 70 yards. This week he faces the Detroit Lions, who though they have tremendous heart, are winless. I expect Goedert to see at least eight targets this week and also score a touchdown, blowing past his 12 point performance last night and finishing closer to 18.
Flex – Van Jefferson – LA Rams – $3,900
What big wide receiver will not tell you is that Van Jefferson is averaging over 5 targets per game in his last 5 games and has two touchdowns as well. At $3,900 in a game that has blowout written all over it, I expect Jefferson to get loose behind the defense and cash in for a big splash play touchdown. He’s more of a GPP play, but I’m playing one of the best in the business in Bo and I need all the juice if I’m gonna squeeze out this victory.
DST – Buffalo Bills – $3,300
The Buffalo Bills have one of the best defenses against quarterbacks, giving up under 12 fantasy points per game, good for first in the NFL. With the trade rumors surrounding Tua and his 1-6 Dolphins team, I expect a handful of sacks and turnovers, and at least one defensive touchdown in the game. At $3,300, I don’t understand rostering any other defense this week.